Love practice
One of my inspirations, relationship coach Annie Lalla, says that when you are looking for real love, you should treat every love prospect as if they are either the One or preparation for the One. How I practice this in my life:
❤️ I do my best to be authentic and relate how I feel throughout dates, even when it’s uncomfortable and especially when I’m on the way of giving up! As someone who has silently judged others while outwardly remaining polite and “nice”, I don’t want to fall back into this… And I still do sometimes. I imagine this is important “muscle building” for when I’m in relationship again.
❤️ I let people know I’m not interested in dating them soon after I have decided that this is the case. I sometimes get critiques that “it’s too early to tell” when I don’t want to go on a second date, and I accept that people may have this perspective and that it is not mine. Often people appreciate me for not dragging my feet with sharing my lack of interest.
❤️ When I find somebody attractive, I tell them and I reach out to them. I may be in the wrong environment for this approach and I do have a story that Bulgarian men may be rejecting me for not fitting their gender roles and norms or for feeling emasculated. But it feels great to be transparent with sharing attractions! In the last instance the emotional response I felt within myself following the ghosting of someone I liked helped me remember a situation from my childhood when the boy I was in love with for the first time told me I was “uncool”. This memory is still driving me to fear embarrassment in situations when I’m attracted to somebody more than 15 years later! Yet, now that I have unearthed this old wound, I can work with it and integrate it.
I can’t wait to meet my Love and practice authentic and conscious relating together! And in the meantime everybody is an exercise partner.